Thursday, September 25, 2008

Comatose Confusions

For some weird reason, I love the movie "While You Were Sleeping". It probably has to do with memories of the first time I saw it. Happy times.

Anyways, there's a scene there that has been flashing in my mind very frequently lately: Lucy, Sandra Bullock, has saved Peter and is at the hospital with him at night. They are alone and it seems to be very late. She has been talking "to him" for quite a while and then she says: "Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?"

And the thing is that it's actually very common. Well, not really talking to men in commas, but feeling that kind of loneliness.

It's surprising how many people suffer from this condition. So many call the psychic hot lines or the television shopping lines because they are alone and need to hear someone's voice. Others get involved in cyber-dating, or even settle for less-than-acceptable relationships just to run away from it. Jack Diamond (here I go again) commented last week on the several times during his career when he's gotten calls during his show from lonely suicidal people who have no one to talk to but the radio show guy.

Lonely people do bizarre things, like reach out to strangers. Besides our innate need for social interaction, we just don't really know how to handle being alone. We are born alone, we will die alone. How come we are not taught how to handle it? Why does society have to make us believe that being alone is bad? Because we have, indeed, been raised to believe that being alone is a sign of failure and rejection. Too many times we wrongly tie our self image and self value to someone else's opinion. People who are alone are flawed, or so their isolation leads them to conclude. We need to feel that we "belong" somewhere, in Lucy's case in Peter's and the Callahans' life. We are just "not good enough". Being alone makes us feel so rejected, hurt, alienated that we start feeling lonely. We feel defeated. Thus the despair.

Why the stigma? Can't we make a difference between solitude and loneliness? Can't we be alone without feeling lonely? Anyone that has ever felt loneliness can confirm that a million people can't make you feel it less. Nothing worse for lonely people than a crowd.

Solitude on the other hand is many a times positive. It can make us feel independent and empowered. It can make you recycle your energy and reconnect with your inner self. Nothing better to reconnect with others than to know yourself, truly, completely.

Maybe if we could teach our children the difference between solitude and loneliness there'd be less desperate people. Maybe we would not feel as lost when we are alone. We might even embrace our times of solitude, cherish them.

I guess my point is, after all the rambling, in a world that has been moving in a direction that isolates us more and more replacing physical interaction with instant telecommunication technologies, wouldn't it be beneficial to distinguish being alone from being lonely?

There will always be people that feel lonely, unfortunately, but tying loneliness and solitude together in one package creates more intense and frequent situations that sometimes end up calling for desperate measures, like comatose confusions.

Gracias Totales

Hoy simplemente quiero dar las gracias al (selecto) grupo de quienes a través de sus blogs han pasado a formar parte me mis mañanas (junto con las noticias y el café), de las interminables horas de trabajo, y de las silenciosas noches en los "suburbs".

Thanks for the inspiration, for making me think, ponder, laugh, cry and remember...

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Bernard Pivot's

Following in the footsteps of the Mad Hatter and Miss A, I found my own questionnaire to answer and maybe start posting again...
So here it is: the famous questionnaire from Inside the Actor's Studio. These 10 questions originally came from a French series, "Bouillon de Culture" hosted by Bernard Pivot.

  1. What is your favorite word?
    procrastination, enlightening, serendipity

  2. What is your least favorite word?
    imposed, rejection, inability

  3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
    uniqueness, nature

  4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
    ignorance, crowds, hypocrisy, unfairness, cigarettes

  5. What is your favorite curse word?
    shit

  6. What sound or noise do you love?
    ocean waves and wind

  7. What sound or noise do you hate?
    amplifier's feedback, sirens, constant humming of machines

  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
    Food/Restaurant critic

  9. What profession would you not like to do?
    Anything health related

  10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
    "I've been waiting for you. You've certainly earned your share of paradise"

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Every Breath

Every morning driving to work I listen to the Jack Diamond Morning Show (a falta de Cesar Miguel y sus silencios elocuentes). Most days they just make me laugh, but every so often a comment made by Jack - isolated from all the nonesense his co-hosts say - strikes a cord and makes me think about some deep issue. Today the issue was, of course, 9/11. It was a date that changed the world, but only living here have a begun to understand the deep hurt this country feels. They are having a memorial at the Pentagon today, and that's how the conversation started.

But Jack's message, even though derived from this day in our past, was more related to our present and our future. He talked about how precious and unpredictable life is. This is something we all know but we'd arther forget and not ponder. It scares us way too much. "Living" is a great miracle. We take for granted every breath we take; every breath others take, and in the blink of and eye it could all be over.

Imagine how many people look upon that day with regrets! Some left their homes in a hurry that morning, not having kissed their spouse and children goodbye; Some had gotten in an argument the day before and didn't get a chance to say they were sorry; some hadn't called someone they loved in a while, and they never got around it.

So much left unsaid and undone...

How often do we put off important details like these because we think we don't have time now? We tell ourselves we'll do them tomorrow.

Tomorrow may never come.

Today could be our last chance.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Craving Caracas

Top 10

  1. Ver el Ávila todos los días, sobretodo tempranito en la mañana en un día soleado.
  2. Sushi de Sushi Market o en realidad de cualquier lado, aquí es caaaaro y poco creativo.

  3. Gelato - lo tenemos en cada esquina y estando allá nunca lo aprecié como debía.

  4. Gasolina mas barata que el agua!!!

  5. Un juguito de fruta fresca (no de concentrado) de parchita, de fresa, de mora...
  6. Los festivales internacionales de cine y teatro.

  7. Lo variado y moderno de la architectura -especialmente en las zonas residenciales.

  8. Las salchichas de la Monserratina - Los mejores choripanes!

  9. Los sandwiches de pernil del mocho en la Unión.

  10. Los asquerocitos del maracucho en La Castellana.


    Picture posted in flickr.com by:
    josemazcona

Monday, September 8, 2008

A day in the life...

For three weeks now I've been working at this new law firm. Ever since my unmemorable predecessor moved out, I took over my new office space. I brought my radio/mp3 player alarm clock, a scented candle, my stash of chocolate, candy and chewing gum and, taking advantage of my wall to wall window, 2 decorative plants. For some, it might sound like an unconventional survivor kit, but it has worked very well so far.

Few thing are predictable in my phone-call-filled hectic days. However, everyday, before going up to the office I make a stop at the corner's Starbucks. It seems impossible to start my day without tall vanilla late (instead of "mi cafe con leche clarito"), and my new addiction, Madeleines. While I walk back I wonder whether I'll be willing to keep doing this in the winter -which comes at us faster than I would like.

I settle in, turn on the oldies station on the radio, and lit my "warm apple pie" scented candle. Lots of comments have derived from my lit candle, everything from how good it smells to what the hidden purpose of it is - I wonder if they think Venezuela is voodoo land or they just think I'm into the new age thing. But the truth is that these simple actions make me feel like i really "own" the space and get me in the right frame of mind for the day ahead. And so, another day gets rolling...

The next milestone in my day is a common activity for American's, that is as foreign to us as going to the bank and not having to stand in line: I have the responsibility of opening, sorting and distributing our mail. It sounds pretty simple, but it is just a convoluted, never ending process. Some of it goes to our D.C. office, some goes to our Maryland office; some is meant for the orchestra-man-attorney that rents some office space from us... Sometimes I even get to use my none-existent powers of divination to figure out who sends what.

Anyways, once that first sorting is done, and I'm already exhausted and my desk looks like a paper factory after a terrorist attack, I need to do the intra-office sorting and search for the file folders. Of course, again, there's open files, closed files, VIP files, submitted files, settled files... It almost feels like a scavanger's hunt with me running all over the place.

Predictably, there's always a couple of pieces of mail that I can't figure out. It was while trying to successfully place those rogue pieces of paper that I happen to set them on my table, on the right side of my monitor, right by... you got it!... right by my scented candle.

Five seconds later, the mail was ablaze! Here I am, almost burning settlement checks in a freaking building made by the second little piggy.... all wooden sticks and cardboard!

After stomping on papers, none of which turned out to be checks (Praise the Lord!), and keeping my fingers crossed for the fire alarm/sprinklers not to go off, I managed to control the disastrous situation... and save my job for at least for another Starbucks-and-mail-filled day.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Cosas de Petete

While surfing the net in one of my breaks, I stumbled upon these terms.

Did you know there was a word for these?

  • The act of mentally undressing someone - apodyopsis
  • An overwhelming desire to kiss - basorexia
  • Having well-shaped buttocks - callipygean
  • An artfully veiled insult - charientism (Reminded me of he who is in LIMBO)
  • Being full of beer - gambrinous
  • The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you - gymnophoria
  • Letting one's eyes wander while assessing someone's charms - oculoplania
  • Flirtatious talk that leads nowhere - sphallolalia



I guess we can start calling things by their proper name...

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Intense core wrapped in a happy-go-jolly package

My Dear Friend,

What an addition have you made to my life! For months and months we shared our daily lives and you brightened my days, but even then, I just saw the tip of the iceberg.

I may have needed time and distance as catalysts to see beyond my nose. I believe I was also a little too self absorbed (not that i lacked reasons). There's soooo much more to you than what I had seen!

I knew you were absent minded, not as a trait, but as the consequence of your busy activity-filled life. You where everywhere doing everything, it seemed. I knew you were creative, and resourceful. I knew we shared a passion for books and foreign film. I had no doubt that your English was superb (and I won't ever get tired of saying it!). You could make difficult seem easy, and giggle your way though a long day. In summary, I knew you were special. But, boy was i nearsighted!

I had only taken a glimpse and not seen further into your inner world. I realize now how much I had missed.

I've found a sensitive, caring, free spirited young woman, wise beyond her years; an intellectual; a culturally savvy little head. Someone full of big words, who actually knows how to use them (and does not over do it). You might not be a lady, but who cares? I believe you are better off. Ser autentico no tiene precio... You have such a thirst for knowledge and a contagious joy of living! You have an intense core wrapped in a happy-go-jolly package.

Oh my dear, but what i really couldn't have imagined was how i was to fall in love with your friends. Reading their words is a great pleasure. I'm bewildered by how clearly they see the world and how cleverly they convey their ideas. What an enriching experience it must be to share your life with such people! Even from afar, you guys make an astounding bunch.

So, accept my compliments and admiration, and be proud of yourself. Furthermore, rest assured that you have made a meaningful difference in my life and I feel truly blessed to count you among my friends. I'll be forever grateful for that opportunity.




love ya, Co! ;)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Stranger I've Become

Have you ever looked back at your life and wondered when did you make that one decision that changed your course? When did you deviate from the path you had planned so carefully?

For a few days, I've been wondering how did that happen. And it's not that I regret what my life has become. It may not all be good, but I would certainly be a different person had the path to get here been different. And I wouldn't want to be anyone else.

I just wonder what happened. Call it, if you may, an irrational curiosity; or maybe nostalgia for the person I could have been. It has been indeed a little sad; almost like discovering that one of your childhood friends passed away without your knowing about it. It's a deep melancholic feeling produced by accepting a fact that can't be changed but that stirs important memories.

Today I look at a stranger's face when I look into the mirror. It takes me over for a few seconds and then I look into the familiar eyes staring back at me. Somehow my essence has survived. I'm still there, but where did my dreams go? Were they ever within my reach? Did I give up? or did they change and evolve? And if so, why does it hurt now to realize they are gone?

And so I grieve the dreams that will never come true.

Tomorrow, I'll joyously accept and cherish the woman I am. Again.


Weird Uses for Food

Last week I ran across the most unusual article on AOL. Its title was "Weird Uses for Food". They encouraged people to share their tips and tricks, and you will not believe what people wrote! I picked my top 20 (random order).

1. "If you have a toothache, just put about 5 or 6 drops of Tabasco sauce on your aching tooth with a cotton swab. It numbs your tooth better than Orajel." -- Lexus

2. "If you have a CD with a scratch on it, just rub the mayo on the scratch. Let it sit for about 5 minutes, and then wipe off going from the center of the CD to the outside rim." -- Laura A

3. "So you've been out at the beach, and you are fried lobster red. Don't panic -- just take a potato and grate it (leaving peel and everything on it) and put it where you are burnt. Wait 30 minutes and remove the potato. Take a cool shower. Not only is the heat gone, but the next day so will be the pain and most of the red -- if not all." -- Juliana

4. "Have a boil or large pimple? Soak a small piece of bread in milk, attach the piece of bread over the boil using tape or another fastener, and the milk will dry out the boil, decreasing its size. Best if done overnight. Toothpaste can also be used to dry out pimples." -- Ben

5. "To keep bread fresh longer place a carrot in the bag. It will freshen bread like it was just baked." Joy Taylor

6. "An apple's ethylene gas will also help pears and avocados to ripen and bromeliad plants to bloom if they're placed together in a loosely-closed paper bag." -- Vee

7. "One 12 oz can of Coca-Cola ( not Pepsi ) in the wash will get rid of diesel smell in clothes." -- Chris

8."I spilled red wine on cream colored carpet, I immediately covered it with a box of salt. The next morning, I vacuumed it up. No stain was visible." -- Patty (Note - this also works for Kool-Aid stains.)

9. "Salt takes the smell of onions from your hands. Wet your hands, put a little salt in the palm of your hand, rub them together good and then rinse. Onion smell will be gone." -- Karen

10. "Baking soda & vinegar are my staple plumbing tools. Sprinkle baking soda in drains, then pour vinegar and voila! Your troubles literally bubble down the drain." -- PJ Hunt

11. "For athlete's foot relief, pour a cup of apple cider vinegar over foot morning and night for two days. Do not soak in it, just pour it over area. Stops itch immediately." -- Susan

12. "If you have a radiator leak, add pepper to the water in the radiator. The tiny grains of pepper will block the leak. It's only a temporary fix but it's a very good temporary fix." -- Dutchvrouw

13. "Try rubbing peanut butter on leather furniture to get out pen marks, grease and dirt stains. Works great on leather car seats as well." -- Rick

14. "If you're having trouble with mosquito bites, put a piece of raw onion on them for about 2 minutes. It stops the itch, and takes the redness away." -- Cher

15. "To take the smell out when painting a room inside the house, cut an onion in half and leave half each end of the room. The onion completely soaks up the paint odor and leaves the room without the smell of onion!" -- Lynda

16. "To remove rust stains from fabric, saturate the stain with fresh lemon juice, then cover with a layer of table salt. Rub the salt into the juice, making a thick paste. Wait for the juice to dry completely, then brush or wash the salt off. The rust will be gone." -- Rob

17. "Cinnamon works for repelling ants. If you find where they are coming in, sprinkle cinnamon on the trail and they will not go over it. It worked for me and I had no more ants in my kitchen." -- Raelene

18. "Plain old household mustard will take the burn out of a burn. So, next time you burn yourself taking a cake out of the oven, just dab some mustard on it and the burning sensation will go away. If the skin is broken, DO NOT use the mustard as an infection may occur." -- Sharon

19. "Corn starch can be used to save your suede dress, shoes or bag. Just sprinkle it on, rub it in, leave it for 24 hours and then lightly brush off. If the stain is not totally gone, repeat it. Most stains will be gone the first time if you do it right after you get the stain, even grease stains." -- Suzanne

20. "If you burn yourself while cooking or if you get burnt working at a fast food restaurant or even sunburned, pickle juice works! Soak a rag in a pickle jar and then lay the rag on the burn." -- Amanda


But the real question arises...


Which is more bizarre: the uses of the food or the people that come up with this ideas?

A quién se le ocurre ponerse mostaza en una quemada o pan mojado en leche sobre un zit?
Cómo se descubre que una zanahoria mantiene el pan fresco o que la mayonesa salva tus CDs de los rayones? A mi jamás se me hubiese pasado por la mente ninguna de estas "recetas".


Am I just too square?

The Madman

By Kahlil Gibran (1918)
"You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen,—the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives,—I ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, “Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves”.
Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.

And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, “He is a madman.” I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, “Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks.”

Thus I became a madman.

And I have found both freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.
But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a Thief in a jail isn't safe from another thief".



...and I ask myself, how many masks do I own? How frequently do I get to feel the sun kiss my face? Am I being called "madman" often enough?
As of lately, I've gotten better.

I'm starting to be a regular lunatic.

Most people, indeed, laugh or run in fear. Around me, just a few fellow madmen remain. And again I think - Blessed be the thieves!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Failure or Success?

What do you write about when your heart, your soul, and your ego are so bruised that inspiration hides in the darkest, most distant corner of your mind?

How do you cope with finally picking up a pen after 1+ yrs of avoiding it, only to find that you grasp for words and your mind wanders in such a disarrayed way that it's almost as bad as if it were blank?
Where do you find solace and safety?

I'd given up. Totally; completely. However, a heroic team made out of an enlightened youngster and a stranger have stirred up that dormant element in my life.

Now, I wonder what to do with it. When everything hurts and aches so much, how do you cough it up in a way that is both beautiful and coherent? Where do you start?

And so I sit alone, listening to Albinoni, watching the tree leaves swing in the breeze and I debate whether to get a glass of wine to free the "uninhibited me"... and i come up with a page full of gibberish.

Do I take it as a failure or as success?

I wonder what they would think. Would they be proud or ashamed of this unannounced, unsolicited apprentice? Would they cheer me on, or just shrug and move on?

Mad Hatter, Miss Alice - Should i keep it up or quit while I'm ahead?